Did I Shave My Legs For This?

In lament of wasted effort, Dena Carter asked in exasperation:
“Did I shave my legs for this?”

Yes, Dena. Sucks doesn’t it? 

A while back I got stuck on wing woman duty on a Monday night. I ended up staying out hours after I wanted nothing but to be home and in bed with a book. But my girlfriend had her eye on a random acquaintance of mine. Let’s say he is a second buddy twice removed. Let’s say his name is Elliot.
(Because his name is Elliot.) 

I stayed out late and had to mainline coffee at work the next day all in the interest of allowing my girl some time to flirt and kiss and enjoy her night. Numbers were exchanged and finally (Thanks be to God) I was able to head home. 

Not even 24 hours later, I ran into Elliot. And he was getting cozy with some new girl. She was rocking more eye makeup than an Ulta cashier and a ratty bouffant ponytail. Yuck. So much for my lack of sleep the night before. I message Valerie to tell her dude is a jackass, although I already suspected as much considering his taste in beers. Stella? It is kinda girly. Stella in the winter when they had a Bridgeport Seasonal on special? What a flamer. 

This is just one of the many instances in which we ladies wonder, “Did I really waste my time for this?”

Over the past few days I have really been pondering the current dating climate my friends and I find ourselves in. And, I have been joking with my buddies that I am dating myself. I think it has evolved to more than a joke now. Sure I have a crush on somebody. But, sometimes I wonder if I have a bigger crush on the idea of somebody. So I am putting myself on a timeout. 

No, Dena. I am NOT going to shave my legs for this. No, seriously. I’m not shaving. 

I actually started this kick a week or so ago. I decided it was a good idea to stay prickly as an added incentive to avoid trying to make out with my crush since I’ve been painfully direct as it is. I don’t need to start physically attacking him, too. Poor guy. 

I was talking with Coop last night and I realized, this has been the longest I’ve gone without shaving since … well, pretty much forever. 

We joked that I could alternate legs. Keeping one unshaven and shaving the other to minimize my irritation with it. I swear I don’t know how hippie women do this shit. I am still shaving my armpits. I think the legs are enough.  

Even though I don’t understand how hippie women do this, I understand why they do it. It really is kind of liberating. I wouldn’t go so far as to burn my bras. Hell no. I have cute bras. I’m not ruining them. 

I know this has a shelf life. There is no way in hell I could pull this off in the summer. No way I’d want to. So maybe by the time the winter has passed and the sunshine comes back to Oklahoma, I’ll be ready to come out of my self-imposed hibernation. 

Damn. My only regret is that I didn’t store up for the winter.