Random Thoughts: Volume 2

There is only one way to determine the right of way when cutting across parking lots: If their car is more ghetto than your car, you have to yield. 

When I grow up, I want to be Betty White. 

If you ladies want to ensure you NEVER get to dance with the cuties at the bar … bring a drunk, gay man with you to the dance floor. 

I disagree with Chelsea Lately, Sarah Palin isn’t the Snookie of politics. She’s the Anna Nicole Smith of politics ... Now if only she would die.

Bristol Palin is competing in the Dancing with the Stars finals this week. Break a leg Bristol! No, really. Break a leg. 

It is too early in the relationship for a booty call if you are worried about whether you have recently shaved your legs. 

I’m Team Jacob. 

Yep. 

Totally Team Jacob.

I wonder if a fart machine would qualify as a White Elephant Gift for the office gift exchange … 

I’ll know I’ve met “the one” when I prefer his company to that of chocolate and a good book. 

Hmmm. I need to buy some more chocolate. 

The Catholic Church finally agrees that AIDS is worse than using contraceptives. The good news is priests will finally stop spreading STD’s to altar boys. 

There are two types of people in this world:

Fancy pants cranberry people and cranberry in a can people.  

Why do we make the president waste time pardoning a Turkey? Doesn’t he have enough shit to do?

I bet Larry King Sleeps in his suspenders.

Ciao!

~ Shannanigans