Valentine’s Day. Blah. It’s like New Years Eve, but worse. If you are coupled up, there is all this build-up and romantic pressure to have a fairy tale night. Like New Years, the celebration almost always fails to live up to our expectations. Like the countdown at New Years, all it does is remind you that you are single and you’ve got nobody to kiss at the end of the night. You don’t even get the day off work to cushion the blow.
So we decided to celebrate a much more worthy holiday instead: Mardis Gras!
Sunday is my day to ride bikes with my buddies in a scavenger hunt meets pub crawl fashion. Valentine’s Day fell on Sunday this year (thank you karma!) So I had 20 bike riding friends already lined up as my dates for the evening.
It wouldn’t be Mardis Gras without the Hurricanes! We started the ride at Ed’s Hurricane Lounge for some delicious drinks. Everyone caught a little buzz and we moved on to the next stop. We threw beads off balconies and of course no MG celebration is complete without the boobies. So to the strip club we went! It was entertaining. There were a group of drunken bike riders (us) and a few sad, lonely men. We decided to drink pitchers and sit on pervert row. I passed out one dollar bills to everybody as Valentine’s.
We got loud and crazy and the strippers were egging us on. We begged them to let us have our own stripping competition, but the owner didn’t want the liability. Sad.
We eventually ended up at home for a Cajun style dinner and more drinks. Every single one of my 20 dates had a great time. Operation Valentine’s Day Neurotic Break-Down Avoidance was a success!
Ok ladies. This is not another Break-up Commandment. It is just a damn good life lesson:
Demand excellent treatment!
I like nice guys. I like nerdy guys. I do NOT like cocky assholes. They are not the types you can count on in life. I have learned that lesson over my tenure as a single lady. Hence I find nice guys extremely sexy. I think it is because they are rare and underappreciated. I like finding awesome things that not everybody knows about. Being one of the few in on the secret.
I need a nice guy because nice guys are the only ones capable of giving me what I need. I am not high maintenance in the way most guys think girls are. I go with the flow. I can have fun doing just about anything. I watch football with enthusiasm. I don’t take 3 hours to get ready. I don’t care about material things. My heart goes more a-flutter from a surprise love note than it does from a flashy gift. Nice guys do the little things that I will notice and appreciate.
In hindsight, I can admit the ex was a nice guy when it came to the little things. He even seemed dependable. I could not have predicted he’d turn on a dime and leave with no warning. He didn’t distance himself in small increments. It’s just like the lights went off all of a sudden.
There is nothing I could do about that. There really isn’t much I could have done to prevent it. I just have to believe that there is another nice guy capable of the little things. A guy that also endures and is able to work through the hard times. All I had to do in the meantime was focus on my own journey and endure until the pain faded.
So that is what I did. I endured. Each day was better than the last until I was ok again. Sometimes that is all you can do when life throws you a curve ball. Just keep going through the motions until the momentum swings your way.
And so I institute my final Break-up Commandment number eight:
THOU SHALT MAKE THE BEST OF EVERY SITUATION
My mother is the embodiment of this commandment. She is my teacher and my best example of someone who has mastered the art of unconditional love. She makes the best of everything and everyone. She is the eternal optimist. And I love her for it.
She taught me long ago that when you make the best of every situation and you see the best in others your own life improves a hundred fold. Yes. Sometimes people will let you down. My ex leaving probably hurt more because I chose to see the best in him and to believe in him with every fiber of my being. However, I know I was happier while we were together than I would have been if I had held back and harbored doubts. So it goes. Life is a trade off and I’ll take the pain because I know greater happiness comes with it.
I’m not the reserved type. I go all in. I shoot for the moon. The beautiful thing about that is someday I will meet someone like me, and we’ll go all in together. I’m looking forward to it.
All it took was good friends, some reckless behavior, a few stiff drinks, a self-deprecating sense of humor, and at times a touch of self-righteous indignation. Now I am home free. My first (and let’s hope to God last) dumpage experience is behind me.
Cheers to single me. I’m happier today than I’ve ever been. My life is mine and it is a good one.
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